Sometimes, when blogging, I ponder exactly why I'm communicating on such a personal level. I often wonder if I'm supposed to just share beautiful and inspiring images or tell you all about the goings on at BellJar. The last post I wrote was definitely an insight to my feelings. As a business owner and a women who constantly strives to be a strong, secure and inspirational, it seems to me that selling items that enrich lives on an atheistic level, as full-fulling as that is, is not enough. I want something more. I have been on a long journey to become the woman I am today, and it has not always been easy. I still constantly make mistakes. I feel so rewarded and fulfilled by all the words of encouragement I receive from people, both face to face as well as by email and facebook. When I posted that last post, I felt a hot burning of vulnerability in my chest, and even discussed it with my PR people, my store manager as well as my roommate. They all gave full support of me being more than just a business women, but also a public figure that can encourage and support both women and men. The post went out on Friday and since then, I have received numerous emails, facebook messages as well as people personally expressing to me how my words resonated with them. I'm beyond appreciative and pleased that I can connect with people on such an amazing level, and it was definitely the encouragement I needed to continue on with my writing. I hope this year to keep focusing on the blog, possibly get a column in a publication and maybe even write a book. Which all is so crazy, considering what a bad speller I am. he he! But nothing give me more fulfillment than encouraging, connecting and being part of a community that helps us strive to be better, more glamorous, enriched humans. Can I get a glass of champagne over here? I think we all need to celebrate. It's Sunday after all.
Recently while having drinks with a close friend, she expressed concern over my professional persona as the premier glam girl. It's funny that I never really think about how other people perceive me. I just live my life in a way that is fun and fulfilling. Things that are fun to me: being glamorous and high maintenance, speaking my mind and wearing high heels while doing so. Talking about fashion and boys while wearing fake eyelashes. Being silly and campy and often very over the top. Being a ballsy, smart woman. But much like my store which posses both dark, intense as well as girly and fluffy moments, there is a softer more natural side to me. And it's true, I am country. It may surprise you, but I love to camp and I dream of buying a ranch in Sonoma. I love to ride horses and I can cook over an open fire. I don't mind going a few days sans shower (as long as I have my perfume). I was born in the country and have drawn water from a well and grown my own food. Just like you, I am multifaceted and complex. There is no one flat composite of Sasha which can be easily defined. I am both an intense, strong Glamour Girl as well as a soft spoken easy-going Country Girl.
Which brings me to cowboys. When I was in Jr High and was already a new wavey/slightly goth little girl, I was also obsessed with the Rodeo and would go and check out all the hot Cowboys when the rodeo came to town. My Dad wore a cowboy hat and I loved it. My first real crush was Elvis in Love Me Tender where he played a Cowboy. I have often dreamed Of being Sisssy and living happily ever after with Bud (which happens to be my Grandpa's name) like in Urban Cowboy. When I got a little older I naturally was drawn to the rockabilly scene with all it's Glamour and cool old cars, but I really was in it for the edgy, modern Cowboys types! But now in this day and age, with my current lifestyle, a good Cowboy is hard to come by. Especially one that has that other side....I guess what I'm saying is a need me a city Cowboy! So today I'm putting it out to all my fav cowboys to get crackin' and get me a cowboy. You ready Hank, Willy and Waylon?
Sissy: Uncle Bob wanted you to be happy. Are you happy?
Bud: Yep, yes I am. You?
Sissy: Yep, I finally got what I wanted. I got a real cowboy.
Bud: And I got what I wanted. I finally got myself a real lady.
Our first day of Vegas was spent doing Antique shopping and trying to find some good Vintage, but Vegas seems to be a bit shopped out. We did score big time in the home dept some come in in a few weeks and see what we got!!!!
Veges is such a weird town. We have definitely not been doing the strip, big time Vegas so far. We are staying in a crappy little hotel right by the convention center and have thus far managed to completely avoid the strip! But we did go to the old town strip yesterday and eat at a Buffet at the Gold Nugget. I like old town soooo much better than the strip. The signs and the Typography of the old places are so cool, and I love the gritty old timey feeling. The strip is too big, flashy and modern. I really hate modern. (Well unless it's Mid-Century!!!) I wish the future looked like people projected it would look in the 50's rather than what it is. I want atomic and exciting, not sleek and boring. I want bright, fun glamour with cocktail hour, not beige and slutty with table service. *Le Sigh. I was born in the wrong decade.
Anyway, Jasmine and I have been really big grandma's anyway. We went and got Mani/Pedis last night and then went a supermarket and bought trash magazines, junk food, and cheap wine. I think were asleep by like 10:30. Jasmine is the perfect traveling partner for me. She may be 10 years younger than me but she has the soul of a granny. She hates night-clubs as much as I do, and she also has an affinity for the orange food group™. She is my Fav!
I'm thinking that I may try and get us tickets to go see Tom Jones...One I say the Drifters, The Platters and the Coasters in Vegas...now were talking night life. I have just come to realize I would much rather hang out at joints where old people frequent than where young people do. A Beau took me to Bixs in San Francisco on sat night and I was soo in to it. It's like old school and we were definitely the youngest people in there.
Tomorrow the trade show madness begins! Updates soon-
One of the issues with blogging candidly is fear that it will hurt the people that are involved with the blogger. I think it is important to bring the readers of "gorgeous little things" an honest look at what makes my life so beautiful and glamorous. There is much more to life than just wearing pretty clothes or nice shoes (although these things are very important). It's also all of the other aspects of life: personal relationships, passion for work, interaction with family, desire to build & create art and/or something that is meaningful to the individual. These are the things that make my life rich. But I'm a very 'all over the place' person. That fact keeps me creative but drives those around me crazy. And I want to share that "mad" creativity with my readers in an honest way. But I also don't want to upset my beaus in the process...or friends for that matter.
I encourage people that I'm dating NOT to ready my blog. It is dramatic, over the top, often for show & entertainment, and displays just how I'm feeling at that moment. As I said, I'm all over the place. Those who have known me for 10 plus years know that, accept it, embrace it and, I hope, adore it. But for those just becoming acquainted with me, it can be frustrating. One day I can be, "I hate the color pink, it is vile and anyone wearing is should be killed" and then the next day, re-do the whole store in pink. I am much the same in my relationships. One day I will be dating someone and be soo madly in love I can't see straight and the next day be, "eh, I don't like the way he cuts his food, I'm over it". And then the day after that be like, "cool let's hang out". See the picture?
Being the object of someones desire, especially when you are undirected like me, is entertaining but also frustrating. So I'm not looking for that kind of passion, I'm more entertained by my work passion. I just need people around me who can accept and embrace all the strange and often annoying little things I do. Like being wishy washy, dramatic and inconsistent. Anyway, I don't think I even want a relationship...well at least not today. Tomorrow, maybe I'll meet the man of my dreams, or maybe I already know him, or maybe I'll stay single, or maybe I'll have two boyfriends, or get married but live next door to my husband or maybe I'll get married like 10 times like Liz Taylor or maybe I should marry a rich guy or an artist or a construction worker, or maybe I'll be like my aunt and uncle and never get married but have kids, but ewe maybe I don't want kids, or maybe I'll just go shoe shopping and put on some red lipstick. hmmm okay...I can't figure this all out today.
Jump out the window if you are the object of passion. Flee it if you feel it. Passion goes, boredom remains.