Had a nice dinner with the ladies last night at Emmy's Spaghetti Shack. Love that place. Have been going there for like 10 years and I honestly think I would have a heart attack and die if they ever closed down. And I usually don't even care for spaghetti. I swear they but crack in the Spag. I dream about it sometimes. Got up at 7 and went to the gym. Totally did not stop for a stop sign and the police pulled me over. I swear it makes me so happy I'm a girl with some long eyelashes that I can bat...the nice officer just asked me "to do him a favor and make sure in the future, I come to a complete stop." Now that's what I call justice. Honestly I have been pulled over at least 10 times in my life and only received one actual ticket. It pays to be charming, no? Ok so at the gym I was thinking about how I have been preaching to my mother, who has been ill, that she needs to practice positive thinking. Have any of you read about Masaru Emotos ice tests? He claims that if you freeze water with the word love attached to it, it forms symmetrical and beautiful patterns and with the word hate attached the patterns become broken and chaotic. There are of course believers as well as naysayers, as with most things in this complicated, mysterious world. Well, when I saw my Mom last week, she was withered and hunched and for the very first time in my life, she looked like a little old lady. She was in a load of pain and was lying in her bed crying when I walked in. After a day with me, and a lot of talk about positive thinking, and the power of the mind to heal she felt a bit better. My Mom is an expert gardener and when I was a child we basically lived off our garden in the summertime. She is obsessed with flowers and nature and is just a cute old, hippie lady, who has been bogged down by chronic pain. The second day I was with her, I made her take a walk through the country. It's spring where she lives and the flowers were in bloom like wildfire in the hills. We walked and talked all the while she was stopping to look at the different plants and flowers and explaining to me their names and origins. At one point she was smelling a wild rose, and she was smiling and laughing and all of a sudden she looked like my mom again. I asked her how she felt and she said her pain was almost completely gone. I of course have a life here in SF, and can't stay and council my mother 24 hours a day, or force her out to enjoy the beautiful world, but I can believe and remind her to have faith in the universe. I choose to walk blindly behind people like Dr Emoto, even if his teachings turn out to be complete scientific myth. His attempts to evoke hope and beauty in our world, is something I can stand behind. I love it when people pose a question that makes you wonder what if? I have seen the positive effects of belief and can attest to it's power in my own life. I can't seem to find a negative way to spin that!
I definitely need some inspiration to get me through the day. I woke up this morning with amazing hair and make up that resembled Alice Cooper. My dear friend Ashly is in town from New York so her and I and my other old friend Dawn went to dinner at Gracias Madre, the new vegan restaurant in the Mission. I of course adore it but I have also been on the vegan eating trip lately, like I do every 6 months or so. After 5 days in LA and no gym time I have been working out every day and only eating non processed foods. Anyway I digress. After my yummy dinner I decided to pollute my system with cocktails and we went over to beauty bar which totes sucked. Ran into a few friends but was so on my way home, grandma style, at like 10. Then it dawned on me it was soul night at the Make Out Room, and everyone knows I adore any and all soul nights. So we made our way the excruciating 3 long blocks (hey I was wearing super high heels) to listen to some good music. Long story short, I got there, and the music was good, and OF COURSE I ran in to the boy who broke my heart last year, and of course after he bought us a few drinks I had to yell at him for like two hours about how he needed to grow up, and of course he sat there and took it but just kept buying shots to possibly make it less painful, so of course I feel like dirt this AM. And I also feel like sometimes I need to learn to keep my mouth shut. But then again, I think that's what makes me, me. I guess I just tell it like it is. Anyway I have been contemplating this for months now, but last night, the earlier mentioned boy that I yelled at for two hours, told me how bummed he was because some people he knew were saying all this crazy stuff about me and my ex husband...things that were totally untrue and completely taken out of context; that paired with the fact that every boy I have had the pleasure of meeting lately either dated one of my friends or I dated one of his...makes me completely ready to leave San Francisco. It's just getting too small here and I feel as if I can't breathe or move around with-out running into someone or something that is somehow connected to my life in some way, shape or form. Plus I may die single here, which might not be such a bad thing as boys generally are tedious and often smell funny. Anyway, I have been contemplating cities. NY is out because it gives me anxiety. Brooklyn is on the table. I had such a good time in LA, although I pretend to hate it there, but I think its an option. Also I think about Marin or the country and I think YES, that's where I will go, but then I try to imagine what I would do for work and that dream goes out the window. So I'm gonna let it simmer for a bit, look for some investors and figure out where to open the next BellJar. I'm leaning towards LA. I kinda need some sun in my life.
One of the issues with blogging candidly is fear that it will hurt the people that are involved with the blogger. I think it is important to bring the readers of "gorgeous little things" an honest look at what makes my life so beautiful and glamorous. There is much more to life than just wearing pretty clothes or nice shoes (although these things are very important). It's also all of the other aspects of life: personal relationships, passion for work, interaction with family, desire to build & create art and/or something that is meaningful to the individual. These are the things that make my life rich. But I'm a very 'all over the place' person. That fact keeps me creative but drives those around me crazy. And I want to share that "mad" creativity with my readers in an honest way. But I also don't want to upset my beaus in the process...or friends for that matter.
I encourage people that I'm dating NOT to ready my blog. It is dramatic, over the top, often for show & entertainment, and displays just how I'm feeling at that moment. As I said, I'm all over the place. Those who have known me for 10 plus years know that, accept it, embrace it and, I hope, adore it. But for those just becoming acquainted with me, it can be frustrating. One day I can be, "I hate the color pink, it is vile and anyone wearing is should be killed" and then the next day, re-do the whole store in pink. I am much the same in my relationships. One day I will be dating someone and be soo madly in love I can't see straight and the next day be, "eh, I don't like the way he cuts his food, I'm over it". And then the day after that be like, "cool let's hang out". See the picture?
Being the object of someones desire, especially when you are undirected like me, is entertaining but also frustrating. So I'm not looking for that kind of passion, I'm more entertained by my work passion. I just need people around me who can accept and embrace all the strange and often annoying little things I do. Like being wishy washy, dramatic and inconsistent. Anyway, I don't think I even want a relationship...well at least not today. Tomorrow, maybe I'll meet the man of my dreams, or maybe I already know him, or maybe I'll stay single, or maybe I'll have two boyfriends, or get married but live next door to my husband or maybe I'll get married like 10 times like Liz Taylor or maybe I should marry a rich guy or an artist or a construction worker, or maybe I'll be like my aunt and uncle and never get married but have kids, but ewe maybe I don't want kids, or maybe I'll just go shoe shopping and put on some red lipstick. hmmm okay...I can't figure this all out today.
Jump out the window if you are the object of passion. Flee it if you feel it. Passion goes, boredom remains.
As I have already posted that we are steadily working towards the launch of our website and have been shooting product and doing the oh so fabulous and exciting data entry portion of the job almost everyday. We really are close and I'm starting to get excited. Next week Jasmine and I take off to Vegas for Pool, Project, ENK and Magic for five days. It just so happens that this years events fall during Valentines day which really put a damper on our trip. We had a special hook-up to stay at the
Wyyn Hotel for $20 a night but since it fell over a holiday week we were out of luck. The rooms were going to be $250 a night!!! The reason we go to Vegas and not Coterie in New Work is because it's more affordable! Well $250 a night is not more affordable! So now we are staying at the lovely and fabulous Greek Isles off the strip! Since we are fans of both the low and the high brow here at BellJar, we are going to embrace our stay at this fine establishment and do it old school, brat pack style! Someday we will look back on all this with the fondest of memories as we sip champagne, eat caviar and stay in the finest resorts. Look forward to some glamorous shenanigan, video posts next week!
We have the Valentines show next Friday that we posted yesterday so please come by and say hello before we take off ! Expect love, glamour and excitement! Me and Jasmine promise to flirt with all the singles and to inspire all to feel special.
On the romance front, I am readjusting my earlier post about wanting to fall in love this year...to instead say, maybe I want to fall in love later this year. Or maybe I just want to be like CoCo Chanel and just have many glamorous love affairs throughout the span of my life. As she so wisely said, "There is no time for cut-and-dried monotony. There is time for work. And time for love. That leaves no other time!" I feel the pressure of that fact everyday. A life with out romance is an empty futile existence, but balancing the two leaves me with little time to sleep. So for now, let's stick with the light affairs, dinner and a few nights dancing till after the website goes live. Then we will see what level of love I have time and or patience for.
That gives me a great idea....for the rest of the month I include wise words from CoCo in each of my posts!
Also a few weeks ago a few of my old rockabilly girlfriends and I got decked out and went dancing and I had such a fabulous time. I forgot how much I enjoy dancing...and by dancing, I mean with a partner. I have never grown used to the single style of dancing. I mean I do it, when needed, but I feel flailing and lonely on the dance floor. There is nothing like having a tall guy, hold you, while you dance and lead your body in to the proper moves. It breaks my precious little heart that I live in day and age where so many of these glamorous art forms are nearly dead. As you have all heard me say, too many times, "I was born in the wrong era."
So go fourth my friends and wear a pretty dress, some perfume and maybe even some eyelashes, expect a boy open the door for you and take you to a nice dinner, as you deserve it, you are a lady!!!