Sasha Darling & The BellJar Blog — Life
I'd Rather Dissolve Than Have You Ignore Me
My Mother asked me a few weeks ago if I prayed. She claimed she did not know how to. I replied of course I did. She asked me what I did, If I lit candles or knelled and I explained that sometimes I might make a ceremony of it but mostly I just pray throughout my day. I pray when I drive, or while sitting quietly on my couch. I pray while I fall to sleep and I pray as I steam dresses at work. Any chance I get from my chaotic and sometimes loud life, I take a second to connect to the universe. I ask for it help, and strength and I thank it for all the gifts it provides me. She then asked me what it made me feel, praying. And I have thought a lot about this. What it makes me feel. The best answer I can come up with is; It makes me feel quiet.
Rosie, Posie, Puddin Pie
Had a nice dinner with the ladies last night at Emmy's Spaghetti Shack. Love that place. Have been going there for like 10 years and I honestly think I would have a heart attack and die if they ever closed down. And I usually don't even care for spaghetti. I swear they but crack in the Spag. I dream about it sometimes. Got up at 7 and went to the gym. Totally did not stop for a stop sign and the police pulled me over. I swear it makes me so happy I'm a girl with some long eyelashes that I can bat...the nice officer just asked me "to do him a favor and make sure in the future, I come to a complete stop." Now that's what I call justice. Honestly I have been pulled over at least 10 times in my life and only received one actual ticket. It pays to be charming, no? Ok so at the gym I was thinking about how I have been preaching to my mother, who has been ill, that she needs to practice positive thinking. Have any of you read about Masaru Emotos ice tests? He claims that if you freeze water with the word love attached to it, it forms symmetrical and beautiful patterns and with the word hate attached the patterns become broken and chaotic. There are of course believers as well as naysayers, as with most things in this complicated, mysterious world. Well, when I saw my Mom last week, she was withered and hunched and for the very first time in my life, she looked like a little old lady. She was in a load of pain and was lying in her bed crying when I walked in. After a day with me, and a lot of talk about positive thinking, and the power of the mind to heal she felt a bit better. My Mom is an expert gardener and when I was a child we basically lived off our garden in the summertime. She is obsessed with flowers and nature and is just a cute old, hippie lady, who has been bogged down by chronic pain. The second day I was with her, I made her take a walk through the country. It's spring where she lives and the flowers were in bloom like wildfire in the hills. We walked and talked all the while she was stopping to look at the different plants and flowers and explaining to me their names and origins. At one point she was smelling a wild rose, and she was smiling and laughing and all of a sudden she looked like my mom again. I asked her how she felt and she said her pain was almost completely gone. I of course have a life here in SF, and can't stay and council my mother 24 hours a day, or force her out to enjoy the beautiful world, but I can believe and remind her to have faith in the universe. I choose to walk blindly behind people like Dr Emoto, even if his teachings turn out to be complete scientific myth. His attempts to evoke hope and beauty in our world, is something I can stand behind. I love it when people pose a question that makes you wonder what if? I have seen the positive effects of belief and can attest to it's power in my own life. I can't seem to find a negative way to spin that!
In the Sunshine, with Moonshine.
So I have not posted in a week. A lot has been going on at the shop as well as for me personally. Last week Pig and I hopped in the car and took a mini road trip. We just kinda tooled around northern California and a bit over on the coast. We did some treasure hunting and brought back a carload full of digs. We also stopped off at my Mom's house who has been feeling really under the weather. Hung out with her and gave her some love and support, and took her to the doctors. While bored in the waiting room played with my phone photo application. Years ago my record collection was stolen from my apartment in Portland. It was really heartberaking because I had been collecting since I was like 7 and my records were the main connection between my father and I. In my 20's I started to collect a bit again, but then lost the records in the divorce. My father had left me his collection when he passed away, but through strange family happenings, somehow they never made it to me. I really have not had the wherewithal to take on record collecting since the shop, but on this trip, I got the record bug again. I bought like 40 or 50 albums. So excited and now I have the fever. All I want to do is go record hunting now. I also have decided I need all new stereo equipment and might go check out some turntables today. After my last trip to LA and hanging at my friend Lily's house, I realized how much my home, does not feel like a home without vinyl! After a few days of playing catch up at BellJar and hanging at home listening to all the new record scores, I thought I would go out and enjoy this amazing weather. Went to an art preview for artist Mark Warren Jacques from Portland. I guess he has been hanging here for the past month and created the below works on his hiatus from the rainy city. Had some champagne hung with some cool peeps. Also was reintroduced to Meighan O'Toole from the inspiring art blog "My Love For You is a Stampede of Horses". Seems she is moving back to SF next week. After the art preview Kevin Taylor and I headed over to Dolores park to hang with Olivia Song Park and crew for a record listening party. Kevin brought his battery powered record player and the rest of us brought food drinks and a few LP's. Supper good times were had. Caitlin came and met me as well and after hanging in the intensely hot sun we decided to head over to Pizzeria Delphine for some dinner. Amazingly enough we got to sit right down at an outside table where we shared a nice bottle of Rose, some good food and pig got over 100 pets by passerby's. It was a fab week and I'm expecting this to be an amazing Summer...not just for the store but also for me personally! Have I said how much I love my life lately? Well there, I said it.
Cover Me With Pretty Lies
Amazing weekend round-up. Gallery BellJar opened Scott Greenwalt's show on Friday. If you missed it, stop in over the next month. It got off to a really slow start but ended up super packed with cuties. We usually close the openings at 9, but no one showed up till like 8:30. We decided to stay and hangout till around 10:30. Many Margaritas were consumed, art was viewed and we all had a fab night. Had a few drinks in the neighborhood with the BellJar girls and some of the art boys, but headed home early. Friday nights in the Mission, not so much. Did stop in to Casanova to say hi to my east bay friends at Sean Cavanaugh new night, Phonogram. Good Jams. Sat worked the shop, but took a long break to get a mani/pedi. I love being a girl. Sat night went to see Charlotte Gainsborough which I already posted about. My dear friend Olivia, took me out to sushi before the show. I have to say it's the best date I've been on in a long time, even if she wouldn't kiss on the first date. XO Liv. Sunday headed down to Pacifica with my friend Tim and Piglet. It was beautiful out and we just walked along the beach and hiked up the hills. Then we had lunch at some weird old bar and lounge on the water. We found out they do live music on the weekends and we are so gonna check that out soon. Last night we headed over to Make-Out Room for a Buffy Sainte-Marie tribute Featuring Emily Jane White and Mariee Siox. It was cute-ish. I always feel like if I'm going to a place called the Make-Out Room I should get to make-out, I dunno maybe it's just me, but I usually leave this place feeling like I was duped by false advertising. Now a quick run, some shop stuff and later, ad weather permits a picnic. Tomorrow I'm hitting the road for a few. Destination unknown. I say yes to a little freedom and so does Pig.