Sasha Darling & The BellJar Blog — Uncategorized

As a princess, I think this wedding seems mmmhhpppp. Mine will be better and a bit more intimate.

Someday Camille and I will be like sisters. So stylish and cool. We will drink tea and read fashion mags. We will smoke cigarettes at sidewalk cafes together. We will wear amazing heels as we browse the Louvre. Our children will be best friends...after all they will be half siblings. Camille you are so lovely. And I can't wait till you and Jarvis and I all get to hang out.

Had a really beautiful weekend...loads of going out, eating hanging out with amazing people, cute boy flirting, catching up with old friends...and it all ended with a Seder/Easter feast at Jen Jones' of Candystore Collective, lovely Eichler home up in the Oakland hills. It's the second year that we have had this religious mash-up. Last year there were 22 people but this year we decided to keep it intimate and do a mini Seder rather than the full on 2 hour one. Jenny K. lead the ceremony and tried to keep the giggling wine infused group, focused. Thanks Jenny for putting up with us! It was really special and I loved the pint size affair. We had an amazing time. Really great food, wonderful conversation, loads of wine and fancy cocktails. It was one of those moments that I looked at my life and saw proof that my dreams are unfolding around me. Opening BellJar, chasing my dreams and doing the things that invite joy, these intentions have allowed the most wonderful people and moments to fill my life. The Seder represents over coming struggle and Easter represents rebirth and these two messages are not lost on my me. We live in a the most amazing place on earth...and we are so blessed to have these opportunities. So this lesson is to find your passion and follow it. The night ended with us all picking out our favorite jams from our youths and dancing and singing along. There was some Wham, some Duran Duran, , Terrence Trent Darby, Beck, 7 seconds and a country tune for good measure. Then we all jumped in the pool and then relaxed in the Hot-tub. Awe. It was truly lovely..as is Jen's home pictured below, as is my life.

I have a gift for analyzing myself. 11 years as an awkward, introspective child, 8 years as a despondent teenage goth girl, 3.5 years as a psyche major another 6 as an art student have left me over-indulgent in my obsession with self understanding. I have since freed myself from the shackles of long nights lying awake, dissecting every aspect of myself down to every snappy little cell bursting to break free from my self-inflicted cage of over analyzation. All those years of getting to know myself have left me with an ability to break down the patterns of my life and inspect why I continue on certain wrong paths. I'm hyper-aware of self-destructive behavior and have learned to redirect my energy in more positive ways. My mother always lived her life in a haphazard sort of way. Dragging me from one adventure to the next, with no real plan in place. When things went wrong she did not look at the big question? What role did my behavior have in creating this situation? She just moved on without looking back right into the next crazy situation. Growing up in this manor, has made me fearless, adventurous but absolutely over self-aware. Some may self-obsessed. It's also made me guarded. Before I ever get to know someone, I start analyzing their personality and I inspect how it makes me react. If I see even the slightest sign that they may interact with me in a way that I may find damaging, I completely close myself off. Despite my cheery disposition, which is almost completely real, as I have found a way to control my world and make it happy and safe, getting beyond that point with me, the point of simple fun and witty banter, is nearly impossible. But certain people walk into my life and their behaviors are so in synche with mine, that I just can completely relax, let the guard down. It happens infrequently, but when it does, it's so magical. With these people I am at my very best. I'm kind, warm, creative, funny and charming. In my dreams I live in a world filled with these people. I like to joke that I want to buy my own town and fill it with only the most creative and lovely humans, especially selected by me. It will be called Darlingville and it will be better than Dollywood.