I have been away from home and life for about a month. I went Northern California for around 11 days to see friends and family over new years and then came home and immediately left for Spain and Lisbon.
It was my very first time traveling overseas by myself and I was pretty worried at first. I even thought about cancelling my trip a few days before departure because I was feeling so scared and overwhelmed. Everyone kept telling me, "traveling alone is such a great experience", and what I heard was, "yeah I also do not have a partner to travel with so I have to convince myself that traveling alone is great".
My fear surrounding this trip and my disbelief that it could actually be wonderful is surprising, considering how much I enjoy spending time alone. I really do not mind doing things by myself and sometimes I prefer it. So this all out anxiety war against the basic working of my personality and preferences was just ridiculous. SO I boarded that plane like a boss and took off for 14 days on my own! Well, now the secret is out; traveling alone is pretty awesome.
Of course there were a few times that I felt frustrated or lonely, but I got to go at my own pace, do the things I really wanted to do. I was able to sleep when I wanted to, eat when I was ready and take detours or change my plans if I felt like it. All in all, I got to have the trip that I wanted without worrying about someone else's needs. It almost feels a bit selfish to travel alone! It's very indulgent.
It was important for me to take this trip and to take this time to really invest in myself and have some time to get inspired again. I have been feeling a bit stuck in my life, both personally and with the business. We had a few slow months, Christmas picked up but I fell a little behind with my clothing line due to the slow down, I have been feeling a little unsure about my path in lei of these issues. It's so darn personal when you own a small business. When times are tough its hard not to take it as a personal assault from the universe. It can make you question everything. It's all tied to ego, fear and and a lack of faith. These are all the things I'm always working on. You have to be a tough cookie to be in small business. You have to be able to deal with ups and downs and take it all in stride. It's just part of the game and usually something I'm pretty good at but right now I just kinda fell a bit like I'm floating in limbo and waiting on everything. And by everything I mean the universe and god and myself, to bring me a sign, or some help or some direction. And I really felt like taking this trip might open me up and help me get some clarity.
I've only been home a few days and at this point I'm still just trying to get back on my proper sleeping/eating/exercising schedule, but I feel like some answers are going to start coming to me soon.
I spent a few days in Barcelona and was so happy that my old dear friend, Anne, from SF reached out and told me she was living there. Those of you from SF will remember her based on her old business. She owned Minnie Wilde the go to Boutique in the early 2000s for cool girls in SF. It was kind of kismet to sit down with a former successful shop owner and designer who completely changed her life. She is living in Spain, no longer designs and everything is different. She is happy and excited about her new life. It got me daydreaming of running off to a new country and starting over.
While I was in Spain I went to the Island Of Mallorca for seven days to do some Kundalini Yoga training. It was an interesting way to split up the trip. Part sightseeing, hanging out, eating and just plain old vacation, mixed with seven intense days of meditation and training for about twelve hours a day. I was hopping after this I was going to come home and write the most amazing post about my spiritual awakening and deep understanding of the universe and all it's cosmic workings, but so far at this point I feel like all that information is just floating in the atmosphere and has not yet landed inside me.
After the yoga retreat I went to Lisbon for five days. I HEART LISBON. I don't know if was all the yoga and meditation, but I got there and just felt shiny and bright and peaceful and at home. It's seriously one of the most beautiful places I've ever been to; pastel colored building set on top of cobblestone streets perched on hills overlooking the Tagus river, that looks more like a bay as it opens to the Atlantic Ocean. I felt like I never, ever wanted to leave.
But leave I did, and now I'm here back in LA and nothing has changed. I don't know what I was expecting to happen, but I had some deep intuitive feeling that if I went on this trip and went to Yoga training that the universe was going to somehow open itself you to me and and quickly start creating massive change in my life. And you know? Maybe it is? Maybe in the background the inner workings of my life have already started their steps to a change in my destiny. Maybe I'm just impatient?
And I probably am, but I do know that this year, is going to be a year of really expanding and setting my intentions towards more success, more happiness, more love and more travel.
I never sat down and did my New Year intentions but I did scribble a bunch down during the full moon in Leo meditation that I did in Mallorca, so I will transcribe them here. Let you and the entire universe know what my passions, desires and intentions are for my future. Ya gotta ask if you want to receive, right? SO here goes nothing!
- BellJar and Sasha Darling to expand. This means more money, more employees, more sales, more customers, more social media impact, more creativity more fun! Just more!
- New creative opportunities/investors, partners
- A possible design show
- Invest and help more people. Help my staff expand more. Do more work with other women to help them expand and have happiness and success.
- Write more (hello blog)
- Work less (yes I want more of all the success and less of the hard work & I really do believe this can be a reality)
- Travel more (Greece next)
- Feel more validated and appreciated by people in my life or people I work with
- More money
- To have the cash flow to finish all the repairs and decor on my new house
- Another AIrbanb
- Retreats with other women
- A jewelry Line
- Other secret creative project that I cant divulge here and investors to partner with me on them
- A handsome, successful, spiritually inclined, hard working, funny, smart and fantastic in bed Life Partner.
- Farm in sebastopol.
- More social media followers (yes we are all striving for this and it's ok to admit it)
- To become more magnetic & Happy and fulfilled
- Surplus in my finances
- To workout more and to have the energy and dedication to my sadhana meditation practice
- To be in Domino, Sunset Magazine, Apartmento, NY times, and more!
- To be creative, happy, manageable work hours with freedom and an unlimited access to money! More love!!
So not too much to ask for? Right? And written during full moon in Leo (with an eclipse) and I am a Leo, so I'm sure it's all in progress right now! This is gonna be my year! Do you hear me universe? Ready to receive!