Last night I had fever induced dreams about a love, long since past. No, they were not those kinds of dreams...get your mind out of the gutter. But in my dreams, I was back in high school and had to lie my way out of the house to attend my best friends wedding...which makes no sense. My ex-boyfriend and his best friend were in attendance at the event. I had not seen him in at least 12 years and we took one look at each other and were madly in love all over again.
I kept waking up and telling myself it was only a dream, to switch gears and dream about something else. My self-conscience had something else in mind. It went on for about 4 hours and consisted of long deep heart felt conversations about our unrequited love, our impending future and all the time lost. Memories of the night we fell in love came rushing in. I recalled his tales of growing up with his mother in the South of France, his closeness with his brother and vivid descriptions of their life, told with his quirky British accent, as we watched the morning sun flood through my lace curtains, having talked all night. It was a dream swirling with anticipation and regret. I woke feeling love sick and all day long he has been on my mind.
I always wonder when these things happen if somehow cosmically the universe is trying to tell me something, or if maybe he too dreamed about me and for a moment we were connected in a different realm. I could not help myself from stalking his facebook page today for a glimpse into his current life that exists without me.
I always find it so curious that dreams can be so powerful and real. They can bring feelings rushing to the surface that have long since been laid to rest. Somedays I wish I could find a waking place where I could live out these moments and capture these feelings in my real life. Or else I may just slowly sink into my dreams forever...