My Mother constantly berates me for living in the city. She does not understand why I would subject myself to the noise, the crowds, the filth and what she see as an overwhelming lack of decency and respect between people. It's not that she does not enjoy visiting the city. As a child we came to San Francisco weekly to enjoy art openings, dinners out and my mom loved the Opera and the Ballet. Sometimes we would get a room downtown but usually as soon as my mom got her culture fill, we would rush back to Sonoma where we lived. My Mom always adored being near the country.
My family are small town or country people. I was born on a hippie commune farm called Nord Ranch located up north in the Sierras. To this day my family stays near nature. One of my Aunts lives in the middle of the woods in Canada, the other in northern California in Butterfly Valley. My Mom and my Uncle both live close by in rural Chico and for my Mom it's too big of a city. When College is in session she constantly complains about the traffic.
In my lifetime I have lived in a Yurt, a beach house, a cabin in the woods, on a farm and a large Victorian in a small town that had both a billiard room and a parlor. The one thing they all had in common? They were either surrounded by or close to nature. But when I was old enough to choose my local, I packed my car and went directly to the city! I have been here ever since.
My mom has this dream, that I will marry a older man who owns a wine vineyard and creates art. This man will be from Sonoma. She talks about it all the time. I always get annoyed as I imagine an old hippie guy, with a silver ponytail, who creates art that resembles a womens vagina and enjoys drum circles. I tend to go more for the inappropriately aged artist, that has no real job, type. You know the guy. He sulks around with all his deep thoughts, and lingering teenage angst and melts your heart with his too cool for school, half smirk. Well, he certainly is not gonna run a Vineyard. Sorry Mom!
But lately, something is happening to me. I'm finding myself constantly day-dreaming of moving to the country. On my days off I'm constantly dashing out of the city and literally running for the hills. I keep dreaming of a farm house with an art studio in the big old barn, where I spend my days painting. On the farm I will have a dozen dogs, a whole brood of cats, and a stable full of Thoroughbred horses. I will wake up every morning and hike by the creek with the dogs, spend the early mornings in the garden, cook a lovely lunch made with the food I grow and then finish up my day in the studio.
I have been spending more and more of my off-time at home and 11:00 is a late night for me these days. The good news is a have been painting again! And enjoy it more now then I did in my 20's. I really love being in my own comfortable space dong something creative. I no longer have this nagging feeling that I'm missing something. I feel more content with myself and my life than I think I ever have. And being secluded does not feel lonely. It just feels peaceful.
Problem is, finding the right person to run to the country with! One that I have enough basic grounding with, but whom also shares my city adjacent, country life ideals! I'm thinking a french diplomat with a house in the country? Or maybe a Swedish architect who will design me the perfect modern country house? Or maybe I'll just settle for a Dutch Nobel Prize winning scientist and we can live just outside of Utrecht? All seem like very good options to me.